Naruto can tell the difference
by To.Elysium
Summary: There is Itachi Uchiha who has dark hair, dark eyes, pale skin and is gorgeous. There is Sasuke Uchiha who has dark hair, dark eyes, pale skin and is gorgeous. And there's Naruto. Who's made a mistake. AU.


In Naruto's defense, they could have been twins.

Everyone said so. Sasuke looked exactly like Itachi. Itachi looked exactly like Sasuke. And Itachi, that _idiot_, had cut his hair recently. So really it was all his fault.

The thing is, Naruto knew Sasuke. He knew Itachi as well. He knew everything about the brothers that were too close to each other in his opinion, but whatever, that may or may not be jealousy talking. And he would never, ever confuse the two when there was light. You know, to see. Because humans need that. Naruto was not a fucking cat, or whatever the hell animal it is that has night vision. So, yeah. He shouldn't have cut his hair and...you know, the light and all.

'What about the light?' Sasuke would probably ask.

It was a rational question. Somehow, Naruto didn't think Sasuke would be rational about this. Sasuke was more of the "I'll kill you first and ask questions later" kind of guy. Which was absurd and extreme, but hey, he was hot.

The light wasn't on. Which was silly and sentimental but Sasuke is a dark sort of guy. Ask anyone. They'd tell you. He prefers the dark. And Naruto loves to bathe and be in sunlight and brightness. So logically, he should have put the light on. But he missed Sasuke; it had been hours since he had last seen that broody moody arrogant condescending jackass and he missed him. So he turned off the lights and pretended Sasuke was there. He brought Sasuke's pillow to his face and inhaled his wonderful scent.

Recently someone, he forgets whom, but someone had told him that he smelled like Sasuke. Which was an odd thing to say but Naruto supposed with all the time they spent wrapped around each other, licking and kissing and tasting and being in and around and over and under each other, that was natural and what's more, a beautiful thing. It made him happy. He smelled like Sasuke and Sasuke in turn smelt like him. It made him very happy. And horny.

So in the lightless room and in his happy, horny, state, he had simply jumped on the figure that entered the room and kissed him fiercely. Also, Also! It was Sasuke's room! It was Sasuke's goddamn room and only Sasuke (and Naruto, damn it) should be able to enter it.

Naruto had grabbed his hands by the wrist and slammed them against the wall, because Sasuke fucking loved to be dominated and rubbed his hips against who he thought was Sasuke as though it were his birthright. But somehow, somewhere something...was just not right. His face was the same shape, his mouth was the same, his wrists were the same but the feel was not familiar, the taste was somewhat different and the smell...good god...that's not...he's not...that's ...

'Itachi,' Naruto squeaked.

Itachi was a really nice guy, in Naruto's opinion. When he had told Sasuke this, Sasuke had looked at him like he was insane.

"Nice?" he had spat. "What the fuck? My brother is..is...oh. Yeah, I suppose he's nice." And Naruto had smiled at his demented boyfriend and just thought, 'What. the. Hell?'

"Still, I don't like that choice of word to describe him."

"Oh?" Naruto said easily, brushing his fingers over Sasuke's ribs to the sides of his body.

Sasuke glanced at his fingers and then back at Naruto's heartbreakingly blue eyes. "He's yeah...nice but not in an obvious way. You can't just say he's nice, because if you don't know him, you'd never call him nice. He's.. gentle but ...don't ever call him nice again. I prefer it when people don't know just how...he really is."

Naruto had smiled languidly and kissed Sasuke so hard and so expertly, Sasuke forgot his own name for a few blissful hours.

Anyway, as he was saying, Itachi was a nice guy. He was a pacifist. Itachi never got violent. But Naruto knew that Itachi could be dangerous when he wanted to be. So he hadn't let go of his wrists since the mishap, out of fear that the perfect prodigy would choose today of all days to snap and dismember his little brother's boyfriend. Naruto had a sneaking feeling that all of the Uchihas secretly hated blondes.

Itachi sighed. He had simply come into Sasuke's room to retrieve a book his little brother had borrowed from him and was attacked by a ferocious blonde. However, the kiss and (It physically pains him to think) the dry humping had mercifully, lasted only two or three seconds before Naruto realized his egregious mistake.

When Naruto stepped back Itachi watched calmly as a variety of emotions played out across his face. From horror, to concentration, to this incredibly sappy look, to a fond far-a-way look and then comical fear.

Itachi knew that Naruto was a good kid. Idiocy aside, he had the best intentions. He loved Sasuke, everyone and their mothers knew that. He would never purposefully kiss Itachi or attempt to cheat on Sasuke. Ever. If not out of loyalty, then definitely out of self-preservation because Sasuke would torture him and Itachi would help. And then Sasuke would kill him and Itachi would erase the evidence.

"Naruto-kun."

Naruto blinked in shock. Well, that was much better than he expected. Itachi's first words after their "kiss" could have been, "I will now torture you for 72 hours." So the situation was good. It was great, even! Itachi was a good guy, after all. They could sort this all out. Now he just had to say something equally good, something casual and smart and reassuring.

"Call me Naruto."

Which was probably the stupidest thing he could have said. Itachi closed his eyes in calm exasperation. Itachi was overly polite as always and Naruto never liked the honorifics. I mean, they were practically family! He had wanted to tell Itachi so many times to just drop the 'kun' but he didn't because he figured Itachi would, when he felt comfortable enough to do so. But now, of all times, his stupid poor confused scared brain decides that it would be a good time to tell him.

"Er. No. I mean, I'm not hitting on you."

"Naru-"

"Sasuke doesn't like light!"

Itachi sighed quietly. He knew Naruto a bit too well. This was going to damage his already damaged brain for a while.

"You look like Sasuke!"

"I know."

"You cut your hair."

"Is this your apology?"

"It's not my fault."

"Is it mine, then?"

"Just! God, he's going to kill me."

"If he wants to, rest assured, I won't let him go to jail for it."

Naruto smiled at Itachi genuinely. "You're such a good brother."

"You're cutting off the blood circulation in my wrists."

"Oh, erm, yeah. Sorry." he hesitated just a second longer before letting go of Itachi. He waited for a punch or a kick or the legendary Uchiha glare that was know to make grown men cry but Itachi just smoothly stepped away and put on the light.

"Oh sure, now you put on the light."

Itachi raised an elegant eyebrow. "You didn't give me much chance to earlier."

Naruto had the grace to look ashamed. "Really, really sorry Itachi. I honestly thought-"

"I know. Even our own parents have confused the two of us before."

Naruto shook his head in earnest. "But this shouldn't happen to me! Your hair is browner! Sasuke's has this bluish tint to it. You two are almost the same height but Sasuke is now a quarter inch taller than you and he has more muscle! He has a thicker neck and his bangs are slightly longer. You're both freakish pale but you have even whiter skin than Sasuke."

Itachi stared at the boy before him. Someone was a bit obsessed.

"Did you think there was going to be a quiz someday?"

Naruto continued his rant, oblivious to the quip. "Your eyelashes are longer and he has just like...slightly thicker eyebrows and okay, your face structure is the same, and your nose and mouth are the same but God, damn it the difference are obvious to me! It's just that.." he wrung his hands helplessly..." I didn't see and I wasn't thinking and its' Sasuke's room, damn it! And in my defense, you even sort of ...feel the same...like, your wrists and..." he trailed off when he noticed Itachi's writs had red marks around them. Naruto always forgot how much brute strength he possessed.

"He's going to fucking kill me."

Itachi considered that. "Probably. I know you can be extremely persuasive when you want to be though, Naruto-kun."

"Er. Seriously. Just Naruto is fine."

Itachi smirked and Naruto's heart did a funny flip-flop. The Uchihas had such devastating good looks.

"God, even your smirk is the same."

"We _are_ brothers."

Naruto sat down on Sasuke's bed and looked at Itachi a little sadly.

"The truth is...I'm so jealous of you, Itachi."

"I know."

Naruto grins at Itachi. "Er...that's weird. The arrogant one is Sasuke, not you."

Itachi smiles easily. "Your face is an open book, Naruto. I've seen the way you look at me when Sasuke and I are together."

"He loves you so much. He's always "Itachi this, Itachi that." He wouldn't even admit there was a possibility of him liking me when I fucking knew he definitely did and had, for months! That bastard."

"You underestimate how much he cares about you."

"oh, I know how much he cares about me. I just wish he was less afraid to tell me or show me. and I wish..."he hesitated for a moment but weirdly that kiss that they had survived now made him feel very close to Itachi. "I wish I had a brother like you, Itachi."

Sasuke chose that moment to walk in and he looked at Itachi and Naruto curiously. Sure, his boyfriend and brother hung out a lot, but never in his bedroom. That was just strange.

"What's going on?"

"L-let me tell him, okay?" Naruto said, looking at Itachi with big blue eyes that made Itachi realize why Sasuke would eventually agree to whatever Naruto wanted him to.

Itachi nodded once and turned to leave. "Good Luck, Naruto."

Naruto beamed widely and realized it was stupid to worry about this. They both loved Sasuke more than is healthy and Sasuke knew it. And he should also know that Naruto had genuine affection for the elder Uchiha and this was just an honest mistake.

Sasuke noticed the absence of the suffix.

"Gotten pretty close, have you'll?" Sasuke said quietly.

Then again...

Sasuke was a little ballistic when it came to his precious older brother and Naruto might be sleeping in a coffin tonight after all.

"Look, Sasuke." he began with utter confidence and loudness. "Er..." and then it all just fell away when Sasuke looked at him like that.

He came closer to the blonde and rested his forehead against the idiot's. His eyes were staring right at him. Those beautiful slanted cat like eyes that were so sexy and intimidating all at once.

Automatically his hands encircled the brunette's waist and brought him flush against his body. They stood there for a while, content with just touching each other again after so many hours of being apart.

"Um, in the dark, Sasuke," Naruto began, "it's difficult to tell sometimes, what is what...or er...who is who."

Sasuke moved back immediately. "What the hell did you do?"

"I honest to God, really truly thought um…he was you."

"What. the. hell. did you do, Naruto?"

"It wasn't me! He shouldn't have been in your room!"

"...Did you kiss him?"

It was almost impossible to stop himself from denying it vehemently. Because his survival instincts were just screaming that it was the only possible answer he could give. But he was an honest person and he couldn't lie to Sasuke. Besides, Itachi might tell him anyway, if Sasuke asked.

"For two seconds! I swear, I thought it was you! It didn't feel right! And-"

His apology was cut short when an angry fist collided painfully with his jaw. Naruto landed on the floor, nursing his sore jaw.

"Ow! Okay, fine! Get mad! But god damn it, it was a genuine mistake!" Sasuke straddled Naruto and gripped his t-shirt pulling him up so they were face to face.

"Show me."

"Er...what?"

"Show me...recreate the scene when you kissed him. I'll decide if you die or not based on it."

Naruto blinked a couple of times and then got up, grim but prepared. He grabbed Sasuke's wrists, shoved him against the wall and kissed him just like before. Except this time, it felt right…because he was so familiar with every single part of Sasuke's body. This felt good. This felt natural. But he couldn't get into it because this was a demonstration and so he pulled back reluctantly and waited for his judgment.

"...What did Itachi do?"

"He ...didn't do anything. He said even your parents do it and that he would make sure you wouldn't go to jail."

Sasuke rubbed his temple in frustration.

"What?"

"'S what he said."

"He said that even my parents push him against the wall and kiss him?"

Naruto laughed. "Silly. That even they confuse you two."

"Forget my parents! _You're_ not supposed to fucking confuse the two of us!"

Not Naruto. That was a betrayal of the highest kind. Because he was possibly the only person in the entire world who didn't give a shit about the Uchiha name, didn't know about Itachi before knowing about Sasuke and preferred Sasuke to Itachi.

"Look even in the pitch dark, I knew, okay! He didn't feel right against me."

"Against you?" Sasuke wanted to kill something. "How was it?" he gritted out. "Is he a better kisser than me?"

Naruto got it. Sasuke loved Itachi to death but he couldn't help but be jealous of him as well. It was a serious complex and Naruto didn't mind indulging Sasuke with this childish quality of his.

"Of course not, you bastard. Itachi didn't kiss me at all. He just stood there like a dead fish. Which is something, because no one can resist the great Uzumaki Naruto! And, even if he did kiss me, I would be like, "Oh whoa, hey now! I'm taken and I don't want to be with anyone other than the Ice Prince himself, Sasuke Uchiha. And I don't care if you look exactly like him, or have the same genes, or would produce similar looking children I want him dammit and no one else, so there!"

Sasuke grimaced, aware that this little speech was for his benefit and feeling thoroughly sheepish, brought the issue to a close.

"You do it again...even if you go blind and..."

"Yes, yes I know...you will kill me," Naruto rolled his eyes. "Geez, such a drama queen you are."

And that was that. So they kissed. And all was right with the world. Because Naruto and Sasuke belonged together.


End file.
